The Doubt Hurdle in Modern Times

Doubt is part of the faith-net. We are all Thomas-like, at some level yearning to be able to put our mental fingers on Christ's wounds to "know" that he is really in our lives. For us "moderns" - post scientific revolution - the challenge of doubt is even greater since all things spiritual have to do battle with the mindset that what we can "know" is all that really matters. We cannot "know" anything about God or about Jesus - or Moses or Muhammad - or anyone. We live in a world where we do know experientially that we cannot completely rely on any human account of events in the past, even things just a few days ago. And the advances of science, the amazing achievements that have flowed from human efforts to understand and find the laws that govern the physical world are awe inspiring.

My faith in God is not based on what I can know. It is based in all honesty on internal commitments or "leaps of faith" that my mind, heart and soul have made to experiences in my life that seem somehow more real to me than anything I have ever learned: a sense that there was some "being" with "eyes on my soul" that I swore an oath of integrity to when I was still a child, that there was a power that surrounded me that felt like encouraging love, a pillar of faithfulness to me that I could never really doubt in any deep sense of that word. I doubted intellectually, because I could not ever find arguments that could serve as "proof" that Jesus even existed historically in exactly to detail set forth in the gospels. But he was there in me, in some place deeper than my mind, when I was suffering great stress and went through a hypnotism session with a doctor that led me straight to Jesus' face and this was during a period of some fifteen years when I would have told you I was an atheist. And I remember also thinking during that time that God - if there was a God - would rather have me be honest about my inability to believe than pretend that I was a believer. Such irony!

Modernists need to consider that there might be a level of "reality" that is beyond the scope of our scientific inquiry. It is a level in us on which we build our lives, construct our values and make commitments that give what we call meaning or purpose to our lives.

Daily Bible Reading: Psalms 114-119 and Matthew 24-25

Psalm 114 – “When the Israelites escaped from Egypt—when the family of Jacob left that foreign land—the land of Judah became God’s sanctuary, and Israel became his kingdom. The Red Sea saw them coming and hurried out of their way! The water of the Jordan River turned away. The mountains skipped like rams, the hills like lambs!” (114:1-4).

The liberation of God's people from slavery and their dedication to Him made all of nature change - the sea "ran" from them, the river stopped flowing, the mountains "skipped like goats." Transformative - that is a word that captures what commitment to God's "leadings" in one's soul is like. 

Psalm 115 – “Not to us, O Lord, not to us, but to your name goes all the glory for your unfailing love and faithfulness. . . . Our God is in the heavens, and he does as he wishes. Their idols are merely things of silver and gold, shaped by human hands” (115:1-4). They cannot speak or see or hear

“And those who make idols are just like them, as are all who trust in them” (115:8).

Trust in the Lord - trust. Do not be afraid of anything. “He is your helper and your shield” (115:11).

Then, later in the psalm, it says, "The heavens belong to the Lord, but he has given the earth to all humanity” (115:16). So the Lord trusts us too. No wonder He created us to be "like Him." May we be worthy of His trust. 

Psalm 116 – “I love the Lord because he hears my voice and my prayer for mercy. Because he bends down to listen, I will pray as long as I have breath!” (116:1-2).

Beautiful words:

"The Lord saved me from death, he stopped my tears and kept me from defeat. And so I walk in the presence of the Lord in the world of the living. I kept on believing, even when I said, 'I am completely crushed,' even when I was afraid and said, 'No one can be trusted'" (116:8-11). This is the God I have known.

“What can I offer the Lord for all he has done for me? I will lift up the cup of salvation and praise the Lord’s name for saving me. I will keep my promises to the Lord in the presence of all his people” (116:12-14).

Psalm 118 - "Give thanks to the Lord, because he is good, and his love is eternal" (118:1).

"It is better to trust in the Lord than to depend on people. . . on human leaders" (118:8-9).

“They swarmed around me like bees; they blazed against me like a crackling fire. But I destroyed them all with the authority of the Lord” (118:11-12). “The Lord is my strength and my song; he has given me victory” (118:14). The Lord has punished me, “but he did not let me die” (118:18).

The very famous words that Jesus repeats in Matthew are here: "The stone that the builders rejected has now become the cornerstone” (118:22).

I wasn't sure what the psalmist was talking about here, so I googled around and found a very interesting blog at http:// thinkhebrew.wordpress.com/2009/08/27/the-stone-the-builders-rejected/ -- In the post I found there, the blogger talks about how the psalm is part of the Hallel, a Jewish song of praise that is recited during Passover.

In brief, what he says is that there was a story in Jewish tradition that explained the words of the psalm as follows: when the Temple was being constructed, builders had to shape the stones that were used at a distance from the Temple so that worshippers would not be disturbed by the noise. The most important stone was the capstone, which had to be put in last, but it was made at the beginning and then "set aside" (or rejected) until they had finished the building. It was always the LAST stone to be put in place. By the time they were ready to put it in place, they had to find it under years of overgrown grass. Ultimately, it would be put in its place of honor. 

“This is the day the Lord has made. We will rejoice and be glad in it” (118:24). “Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good! His faithful love endures forever” (118:29).

Psalm 119 – This is an extremely long psalm, separated into segments that follow the Hebrew alphabet. It starts with praise for all those who live their lives according to the law God has given through Moses. It is intended to inspire young people.

“Joyful are people of integrity, who follow the instructions of the Lord. Joyful are those who obey his laws and search for him with all their hearts” (119:1-2). May we learn to be consistent in following your decrees. “Please don’t give up on me!” (119:8).

“How can a young person stay pure? By obeying your word. I have tried hard to find you—don’t let me wander from your commands. I have hidden your word in my heart, that I might not sin against you” (119:9-11).

It is wonderful to learn how to serve God with our whole heart. "Open my eyes, so that I may see the wonderful truths in your law. I am here on earth for just a little while; do not hide your commands from me" (119:18-19). 

“I lie in the dust; revive me by your word . . . Help me understand the meaning of your commandments, and I will meditate on your wonderful deeds. I weep with sorrow; encourage me by your word” (119:25-28).

“Turn my eyes from worthless things, and give me life through your word” (119:37).

When I read psalms like this one that pray so earnestly for God's guidance and presence and favor, I remember how stressful it must have been to be a king in these days - the pressures, the threats, the incredible political, military and personal challenges they must have faced every day; so I am not really bothered by the earnest please for favor and help. "Keep me from paying attention to what is worthless; be good to me, as you have promised" (119:37). He says that the law God gave "means more to [him] than all the money in the world" (119:72). When he suffers defeats or pain, he ascribes it to just punishment imposed by God for his failures to obey the laws. And he sometimes expresses frustration at how long he seems to have to wait for God's help.

There are moments of despair in the psalm: “I am worn out waiting for your rescue, but I have put my hope in your word. My eyes are straining to see your promises come true. When will you comfort me? . . . How long must I wait? When will you punish those who persecute me?” (119:81-84).

“Your word is a lamp to guide my feet and a light for my path” (119:105).

The word of the Lord, His faithfulness, His law - while never experienced without sufferings and doubts - are the most precious things the psalmist - thought by many to have been King David - has in his life. God is our teacher, and "how sweet is the taste" of all He imparts to us. Again, as I said yesterday, this psalm sounds to me as if it were really written by a king or political leader who wants so badly to be faithful, obedient and appreciative of God, but who is also surrounded by temptations - of power, of worldliness and paranoia: "Powerful people attack me unjustly, but I respect your law. How happy I am because of your promises. . ." (119:161-162). 

I can so identify. Even in my simple day-to-day life, I get the greatest pleasure and feeling of meaningfulness when I feel God's presence, but as hard as I try, as much will power as I bring to the task, I can never be completely without ego, without impatience, without judgment. I can never be wholly what I think God wants me to be. "Give me life, so that I may praise you; may your instructions help me. I wander about like a lost sheep; so come and look for me, your servant because I have not neglected your laws" (119:175-176). 

Matthew 24 – Jesus comes out of the Temple and the disciples are showing him something about the buildings.  He responds, “Do you see all these buildings? I tell you the truth, they will be completely demolished. Not one stone will be left on top of another!” (24:2)

At the Mount of Olives he goes on talking about his next coming and the “end of the world” (24:3). Jesus speaks to warn them of the dangers there will be to be led astray.  This phrase appears many times in the following discourse (5 or 6 times at least). Many will come claiming to be “Messiah” [or in MK and LK “him”]; there will be wars and rumors of wars, famines, earthquakes.

His people will be “arrested, persecuted, and killed. You will be hated all over the world because you are my followers. And many will turn away from me and betray and hate each other. And many false prophets will appear and will deceive many people” (24:9-11). “But the one who endures to the end will be saved” (24:13).

The “desolating sacrilege” spoken of in Daniel [9:27; 11:31; 12:11] will occur and those in Judea will have to flee to the mountains—it will be a time of great suffering. Matthew then repeats lines about false Messiahs in a part that does not appear to be taken from MK [it does not appear in LK either]. They “will rise up and perform great signs and wonders so as to deceive, if possible, even God’s chosen ones” (24:24). “And then at last, the sign that the Son of Man is coming will appear in the heavens, and there will be deep mourning among all the peoples of the earth. And they will see the Son of Man coming on the clouds of heaven with power and great glory” (24:30).

Learn to tell the signs in the same way you read signs of the seasons in the fig tree. “Truly I tell you, this generation will not pass away until all these things have taken place” (24:34). No one knows the day or hour. As in the days of Noah, people will be living life normally until the moment comes.  “Keep awake therefore, for you do not know on what day your Lord is coming” (24:42).

Who is the faithful and wise servant?  Blessed that servant whom the master finds ready and at work when he comes (24:46).

Jesus’ words gave a reasonable expectation to the first generation of Christians that the end of the “age” or the end of the world would soon come. And this despite the fact that he does say in 24:36 that even the Son does not know the “day and hour,” How are we to view this?  Did we – as T.S.Eliot asks in his great poem Four Quartets – “hear the words but miss the meaning?”  Was he speaking in concrete terms or of spiritual realities only? Or was he limited in his own humanity more than we typically believe? Jesus’ intention seems to be to create a level of heightened expectation and readiness for whatever may come. “Stay awake!”

Eschatological discourses in Other NT Books: Two possible applications of the eschatological language here are 1) the destruction of Jerusalem in 70 AD and b) the end of world scenario. Here in Matthew [as also in Mark 13 and Luke 21], no clear distinction is drawn between the two. Though separated in time, the first is the inevitable pre-figuration and forerunner of the second. The destruction of Jerusalem is seen as the end of the Old Covenant.

In Mark 13, Jesus tells his disciples that “not a single stone [of the Temple] will be left on another.” He then sees same scenario as Matthew describes – the coming of multiple false messiahs, terrible persecutions and troubles that will precede the Son of Man’s coming. All way too mysterious for me to grasp. It is no wonder that the young Church struggled with this all so much over the next century. 

In Luke 17 and 21, he takes a different approach when the Pharisees ask him about the coming Kingdom of God. Jesus says, “The Kingdom of God does not come in such a way as to be seen. But then he goes on to describe pretty much the same kind of confusion. Again, the coming of the Son of Man follows destruction of the Temple and Jerusalem generally.

Matthew 25 – Jesus tells another parable to describe what the kingdom of heaven is like. Ten bridesmaids take lamps to go looking for the bridegroom. Five are foolish and take no oil along with them for the lamps; five are wise because they take flasks of oil so they can refill their lamps if it takes a long time to find him.  The bridegroom’s arrival is delayed, so the bridesmaids all go to sleep.  When suddenly and unexpectedly the Bridegroom arrives at midnight, the foolish girls have no more oil for their lamps. And the wise ones know there isn’t enough for everyone, so they don’t share.  So, while the “foolish” go to find more oil, the Bridegroom comes and “those who were ready went with him into the wedding banquet; and the door was shut” (25:10). When the other girls arrive they ask the Lord to open the door but by then he says, “I do not know you” (25:12).

        

Then Jesus tells them the parable of the “talents” [unit of money in those days]. A man going on a journey calls his slaves to him and entrusts them with his property. To one he gives five talents, to another two, to another one, “to each according to his ability” (25:15). The one with five goes off and trades with them and makes five more. The one with two makes two more; but the one with only one digs a hole and buries it in the ground.  When the master returns they settle accounts. To each of the first two the master says, “Well done, good and trustworthy slave; you have been trustworthy in a few things, I will put you in charge of many thing; enter into the joy of your master” (25:23).

This message is in Luke too, but the parable has been changed a little.  In that one there is a side plot (of rebellion against the master). The master leaves all his servants ten “pounds” to trade with. Each one tries to makes something from one.  When they do well the Lord gives them cities to rule over. When the fearful one comes forward, he judges him “by [his] own words” but just takes the pound away from him. There is no eternal punishment in Luke, but he does end the parable by going back to the rebellion strand and slaughtering the rebels “in [his] presence.

But to the one who had hidden his talent in the ground, believing his master would punish him if he lost it, he says “You wicked and lazy slave! You knew, did you, that I reap where I did not sow, and gather where I did not scatter? Then you ought to have invested my money with the bankers, and on my return I would have received what was my own with interest” (26-27). He orders the one taken away from him and given to the servant with ten. “For to all those who have, more will be given, and they will have an abundance; but from those who have nothing, even what they have will be taken away. As for this worthless slave, throw him into the outer darkness, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth” (25:28-30).

When the Son of Man comes in his glory, Jesus tells them, he will sit on “the throne of his glory.” All the nations will be assembled and he will “separate people one from another as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats” (25:32). The sheep on his right will be welcomes into his kingdom “for I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me. I was naked and you gave me clothing, I was sick and you took care of me, I was in prison and you visited me” (25:34-36). When have we ever done these things they will ask. Then he will tell them “Truly I tell you, just as you did it to one of the least of these who are members of my family, you did it to me” (25:40). The goats on his left, on the other hand, he will send “into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels. . .” (25:41).

Daily Bible Reading: Psalms 12-16 and 1 Thessalonians 4

Psalm 12 – “Help, O Lord, for the godly are fast disappearing! The faithful have vanished from the earth! Neighbors lie to each other, speaking with flattering lips and deceitful hearts” (12:1-2).

People don’t seem to care any more whether they lie or do violence to others. Reading the words of this psalm make me realize that probably every generation has looked around and seen terrible things, things that put us to shame as a people. But we know that “the arc of the moral universe bends towards justice.” One of our own prophets has assured us of this. And similarly, the author of these psalms believes that the Lord will “rescue us.”

“The Lord’s promises are pure, like silver refined in a furnace, purified seven times over . . . we know you will protect the oppressed . . . even though the wicked strut about, and evil is praised throughout the land” (12:6-8).

Psalm 13 – “O Lord, how long will you forget me? Forever? How long will you look the other way? How long must I struggle with anguish in my soul, with sorrow in my heart every day” (13:1-2).

The pendulum swings from doubt to faith, from discouragement to hope. Every one of us must negotiate this crooked path of life, and what we realize in reading these beautiful poems is that our steadfast help along the way is always there for us.

Psalm 14 – “Fools say in their hearts, ‘There is no God.’ They are corrupt, and their actions are evil; not one of them does good! They Lord looks down from heaven on the entire human race; he looks to see if anyone is truly wise, if anyone seeks God. But no, all have turned away” (14:1-2). This must have been a very down moment for this writer.

This psalm shows that there must have been even in these “old days” many people who thought there was no god. They were yet another stumbling block for those who felt the presence of something great beyond and around them.

Psalm 15 – “Who may worship in your sanctuary, Lord? Who may enter your presence on your holy hill? Those who lead blameless lives and do what is right, speaking the truth from sincere hearts” (15:1-2). Those who do not gossip or harm their neighbors or speak evil of their friends; those who despise the wicked and honor followers of the Lord, those who keep their promises “even when it hurts” (15:4). Those who lend money without charging interest and those who cannot be bribed “to lie about the innocent” (15:5).

Psalm 16 – “Protect me, O God, for in you I take refuge. I say to the Lord, “You are my Lord; I have no good apart from you” (16:1-2).

“Lord, you alone are my inheritance, my cup of blessing” (16:5).

“I will bless the Lord who guides me; even at night my heart instructs me. I know the Lord is always with me. I will not be shaken, for he is right beside me” (16:7-8).

“[Y]ou will not leave my soul among the dead or allow your holy one to rot in the grave. You will show me the way of life, granting me the joy of your presence and the pleasures of living with you forever” (16:10-11). 

1 Thessalonians 4 – Continue to make progress “in the kind of life that you are meant to live” (4:1).

God wants us to be holy, to keep “away from fornication and selfish lust . . . to know how to use the body that belongs to him in a way that is holy and honorable” (4:4-5).

He wants us not to take advantage of one another. Live quietly, earn your living and be respectable in the eyes of all men.

Those who have died in the faith will rise like Jesus – “God will bring them with him” (4:15). They will be the first to rise when Christ comes. “So we shall stay with the Lord for ever” (4:17).

Daily Bible Reading: Ezekiel 28 and John 21

Ezekiel 28 – The prophecy against the kingdom of Tyre – great trading city and center of the region. Tyre is condemned for being proud enough to consider itself “a god.”  But foreigners will be brought against them

Tyre was created perfect – full of natural riches and guarded by god’s ensigns. But Tyre’s “busy trading has filled you with violence and sin” (28:16). The dishonesty of their trade, however, and the pride they showed has brought them to ashes. They have become “an object of terror – gone forever” (28:19).

           

Sidon too (less important but involved in the political intrigue Ezekiel is condemning here) is addressed God will send the plague to demonstrate His anger. Men will “learn that I am the Lord Yahweh” by God’s bringing down the nations hostile to Judah around it. Similarly, God will replant his people “on the soil . . .I gave to my servant Jacob [and] they shall live there in confidence, build houses, plant vineyards” (28:26).

John 21 - Jesus shows himself again to the disciples by the Sea of Tiberias. Peter, Thomas, Nathanael of Cana, the two sons of Zebedee and two other disciples are together and Simon Peter says he is going fishing. They all go with him but catch nothing. At daybreak Jesus appears on the beach, but again his disciples, like Mary Magdelen, do not “know him” (21:4). He says to them, “Children, you have no fish, have you?” He tells them to cast their nets to the right of the boat. They do and bring in a huge haul. “That disciple whom Jesus loved said to Peter. ‘It is the Lord!’” (21:7) At this, Peter, naked, puts on some clothes and jumps off the boat. The others bring the boat in with all the fish.

Ashore, they find Jesus by a charcoal fire cooking fish. He invites them to bring some of the fish they’ve caught (153 fish, it says) and eat breakfast with him. “Now none of the disciples dared to ask him, ‘Who are you?’ because they knew it was the Lord. That this should even be an issue is pretty mysterious. Jesus comes, takes the bread and gives it to them, and does the same with the fish” (21:13).

When they finish, Jesus says to Simon, “Simon son of John, do you love me more than these?’ He said to him, ‘Yes, Lord; you know that I love you.’ Jesus said to him, ‘Feed my lambs” (21:15). He says this two times more. Peter feels hurt because he has to say it three times. Then it says Jesus predicts that when Peter is old he will stretch out his hands and someone will fasten a belt around him and take him where he does not wish to go (21:18). He tells Peter to “follow me.” Peter turns and sees “the disciple whom Jesus loved following them. Peter asks the Lord, “’what about him?’ (21:21)

Jesus says to him, ‘If it is my will that he remain until I come, what is that to you? Follow me!’ So the rumor spread in the community that this disciple would not die” (21:21-23). The gospel ends with a declaration that this “is the disciple who is testifying to these things and has written them, and we know that his testimony is true” (21:24). There are many other things that Jesus did.

What I find most interesting in this chapter is, again, there is difficulty in recognizing Jesus among the disciples – those who knew him best. This has to be a kind of doubt about the resurrection in the same sense that Hamlet has underlying doubts about the vision of his father he is supposed to believe in. But it is in his interaction with them that his presence is validated. How much harder for us, yet it seems miraculously that the reality of his presence in our lives continues to be confirmed every day.